don’t blink

Oy! What a couple of weeks it has been. Tobias’s dad passed away at the end of October. Everyone thinks that his heart just gave up. He had been in and out of hospitals for awhile and every time we thought it was the end, he would power through and surprise us. He was a big man in both in the physical and in personality, he loved his kids and while he might not have always done the right thing, he was always worried about doing the right thing. We weren’t particularly close but I will miss him. Most of all I will miss what he meant to those around him. He spent the last year of his life doing the right things, he got right with God as a priority, spent time with is family and did the things that he enjoyed doing. So that happened like I said the end of October, there was the viewing, the funeral and then the mess of settling the estate. We extended our stay in Ohio to deal with all the things a death brings up. While we were at home my brother-in law suffered a massive stroke.

This was definitely one of those when it rains is pours times in our lives.

On a Sunday morning my sister called my mom’s house to say that Mason (my brother-in-law) had a stroke but it was okay and no big deal. Later in the day the news only got worse, my sister, maybe not ready to deal with the truth herself, hadn’t been as up front as we had hoped. My brother had suffered serious brain damage, the doctors said that he would only survive as a vegetable, in a nursing home, on life support, for the rest of his life. The news was devastating.  He had a family, two kids, pets, parents a wife…he is forty years old. How does a forty year old have a stroke so massive it would turn him into a vegetable? He hadn’t taken his blood pressure medicine for 3 months. Besides being overweight, he is diabetic and works a really stressful job. We drove up to Columbus to see him and my sister, she seemed great, very calm, very concerned with everyone else, delicate, sure but not nearly the wreck I would have been. We spent hours sitting in the ICU waiting room…waiting for what? The most painful kind of waiting, not knowing what your waiting for waiting, waiting for the results to some test that you don’t understand waiting, waiting for the good news followed by the bad news waiting. Desperate waiting. So we waited. We drove the 3 hours back to Cleveland and waited. But each day the news only got worse. After being on life support for almost little two  weeks with no real progress, no good first or second opinion, my sister told us they were prepared to take him off of life support and wait for him to take his last breath.

She made the funeral arrangements along with her in-laws and prepared her children for what was going to happen in the days to come. The Monday they decided to remove the life support her friends and family gathered at the hospital as they had been doing for weeks, but today it was to say goodbye. Her pastor from her previous church along with her current pastor decided it was a good time to pray over him one last time. They went in together and began, as they had both done separately to pray. While they were praying, Mason opened his eyes. He was able to communicate with them through nodding and blinking and asked for my sister. He looked at her with real presence and responded to her remarks of how much she loved him. They continued to bring in person after person and to each he responded with real awareness.

And all I can say is Thank God.

Is it all good news? No. He will most likely be paralyzed on the left side of his body. My sister is still left with the overwhelming task of supporting two kids and now a husband on her minimal salary. But there is hope. Hope the he will be able to at least see his kids get a little older. To share another year of marriage with my sister. To take care of the self he is left with. There is hope.

So everyday is a wait and see day. More waiting, but for me the seeing is different now.

Now we are back in NYC and things are a little more calm. The pregnancy is going well, especially considering all the stress. We’ve only been back for 24hours and already our downstairs neighbors are complaining about the noise. So nothing has really changed, at least for them.

Oh! and I realized why I hate politics so much. I never really thought about it but I grew up in OHIO, a battleground state. Yea, totally different vibe, not only politically but the media is just overwhelming and distracting and distressing. So it took me years to figure out where my absolute dislike for all thing political comes from and now I know. Yes, i did vote, via absentee ballot, and my guy won. More hope.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow so I am doing what any exhausted pregnant women should be doing at 11p the day before Thanksgiving. I trying to throw together some kind of dish to bring with me tomorrow to my wonderful hostess Joy’s house. I settled on a pear cranberry crisp. The butter got too soft so now I am waiting for it to firm up a little so I can crumble and get that thing in the oven. I am also trying really hard not to take my cast-iron pots and pans and drop them “accidentally” on the floor (happy thanksgiving neighbor!).

Anyway, good cheer and happiness tomorrow. Count those blessings, kiss those babies, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends moms and dads. Enjoy each other and your time together and don’t forget to CHOW DOWN!